Enough Is Enough – By Walt Page, The Tennessee Poet

More and more I find myself writing about pain.
I don’t do it for sympathy, I write about it because
for a few minutes I am pain free, young again and full of energy.

The doctors say, “it could be this” or “it could be that”
We need to do an MRI and CT scan to see what it might
be.”

I’m at the point of giving up. I know I won’t get better.
I can’t afford to keep paying for all the tests.
I’ve had swollen legs and feet since June and nothing
seems to help much. I’ve had an MRI and ultrasounds
and been checked by my cardiologist. I’ve seen
a neurologist and he has confirmed severe nerve damage
in my lower legs and feet.

Now my primary care physician says I have
an abdominal hernia in addition to my hiatal hernia. Might
need an abdominal CT Scan.

Anyone seeing a trend here? “might be”, “could be”,
need an MRI”, “an abdominal CT Scan”,
a lower lumbar MRI”. $200 copay per test.
Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching!

No more I say. I’ve had enough. Just give me meds
to help the pain. No more tests with nothing to gain.
Nerve damage? No cure.
Scoliosis? Can’t be fixed at my age.
I’ll be 75 next May.
Let me be.

Susan says when the doctors know I’m coming,
they look at their computers and say, “Let’s see,
what can we tell him we THINK he MIGHT have today?”

I have lived in this chronic pain for 7 years now,
since back surgery for a herniated disc. Three years ago
I had arthroscopic surgery on my right knee. Two years ago
I had open heart surgery. Last year I had a knee
replacement of my right knee.

A CT Scan in April showed degenerative changes in the
spine and approximately 30 degrees of lumbar
scoliosis, along with a 1.6cm celiac aneurysm,
a small hiatal hernia and diverticulosis.

An MRI on my lumbar spine in June which showed
progressive scoliosis of the lumbar spine since
my earlier scan in 2012, with no disc herniation.

I’m tired.
I hurt.

And they have not been able to fix whatever is
 going on. Hell, until the neurologist, they haven’t
even figured out what part of it is.

Should I keep having tests and going more and more
in debt? Or should I say “ENOUGH!”

I don’t know.

I just want to go to sleep.

~The Tennessee Poet~

©Walt Page 2018 All Rights Reserved

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70 thoughts on “Enough Is Enough – By Walt Page, The Tennessee Poet

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  1. I see your point, Walt! So sorry that you are having so much pain and discomfort! If the diagnosis will not alleviate the pain… then why continue to pay for additional tests? The cost of medical care is out of control! Steve Markesich….said it the best, “That is why they call it a “practice”.” Maybe alternative medicine might be worth consideration. 💙

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve been in chronic pain for about 11 years now. I need knee replacements but they won’t do it for this reason or that reason. Always an excuse. I understand the pain and being tired of it all. I had a paraesophageal hiatal hernia about 3 years ago and had that fixed. Gallbladder removed a few years before that. Other miscellaneous problems along the way… My legs swell up the ankles and none of the doctors have EVER even noticed, without me mentioning it first. Just a few weeks ago for the first time, a doctor noticed on her own and suggested compression stockings to help with the swelling and circulation. Trouble is finding the right size that won’t cut off my circulation altogether! It’s just one thing after another. Getting sick of it all. Can’t give up. Not me. Not you either. We can’t let them win. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Keep the pecker up Walt (not gutter talk this side of the pond) if I had the magic potion to ease your pain I’d gladly share but I don’t expressing/sharing, if it keeps the mind off pain only for that few minutes then keep sharing your wordpress family are there with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My grandmother lived for 20 or more years with balance problems the doctors just couldn’t figure out… until my mother had an aneurysm burst…then they found 4 in her brain. Sometimes they even miss the obvious….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry to hear you have all the doctors stumped!!! I have learned that with doctors and medical issues you have to be your own Health Advocate! Please don’t rely on your doctors opinions only. I would recommend you spend as much time as possible on the internet researching alternative medicine and home remedies. Sometimes an answer is hidden from view. We had a friend who’s sister had suffered with tons of stupid diagnosis until they found she had a hiatal hernnia and after that she escaped 15 years of suffering. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, Dear Friend!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You are such a strong, strong man to be going through all this and taking the time to write, Walt! You have a discipline and will that most in your place would never be able to muster. I take my hat off to my dear friend and Tennessee Poet! 💛

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